*UK shipping* unisex tee - For birthdays alone, existential crises, clothing for losers
$33.00
For days when your soul feels like a filing cabinet: tidy, beige, and quietly screaming. This Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee serves high-grade deadpan with a perfectly round dome and a punchline big enough to read from space. Soft, sturdy, and weirdly comforting—like a hug from an HR-approved cloud—this shirt pairs with jeans, joggers, and your most profound sigh. Wear it to coffee runs, office parties, or whenever your inner monologue demands closed captions. It’s cheeky, cathartic, and gloriously on-the-nose.
(Humour is the vibe. If you’re struggling, talking to someone real is always a power move.)
Product features
Shoulder tape for durability (handles heavyweight irony)
Seamless tubular body—no side seams, no side quests
Elastic ribbed knit collar that keeps its shape like a stoic sunrise
Smooth, spun cotton that prints crisp lines and crisper feelings
Ethically produced cotton—good threads, good conscience
Care instructions
Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
Tumble dry low
Non-chlorine bleach as needed
Do not iron the print (it already brings the heat)
Do not dry clean—this tee prefers honest laundry baskets
For days when your soul feels like a filing cabinet: tidy, beige, and quietly screaming. This Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee serves high-grade deadpan with a perfectly round dome and a punchline big enough to read from space. Soft, sturdy, and weirdly comforting—like a hug from an HR-approved cloud—this shirt pairs with jeans, joggers, and your most profound sigh. Wear it to coffee runs, office parties, or whenever your inner monologue demands closed captions. It’s cheeky, cathartic, and gloriously on-the-nose.
(Humour is the vibe. If you’re struggling, talking to someone real is always a power move.)
Product features
Shoulder tape for durability (handles heavyweight irony)
Seamless tubular body—no side seams, no side quests
Elastic ribbed knit collar that keeps its shape like a stoic sunrise
Smooth, spun cotton that prints crisp lines and crisper feelings
Ethically produced cotton—good threads, good conscience
Care instructions
Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F)
Tumble dry low
Non-chlorine bleach as needed
Do not iron the print (it already brings the heat)
Do not dry clean—this tee prefers honest laundry baskets
