*USA shipping* unisex tee - For succulent fans, mindfulness practitioners, water drinking fans
$33.00
Meet your new favorite conversation magnet: a kindly-yet-terrifying garden matriarch yelling “YOU’RE THIRSTY” at a cactus while unleashing Niagara Falls from a watering can. It’s part motivational poster, part desert intervention, all chaotic good. Perfect for any friend who says “I’m fine” and then drinks one thimble of water per week. Put it on and become the hydration hero you were always destined to be. Side effects may include spontaneous laughter, improved posture in succulents, and strangers confessing their water intake.
Why this tee quenches:
Shoulder tape sturdy enough to hold back a tidal wave of granny determination
Seamless tubular knit—smooth like a perfectly poured glass of water at 3 a.m.
Ribbed collar that bounces back faster than a cactus after a pep talk
Soft, durable cotton that prints every droplet and dramatic vowel
Classic fit: roomy for brunch, flexible for emergency sprinkler choreography
Field guide (laundry edition):
Machine wash cold (30°C/90°F): keeps the splash art crisp and the cactus calm
Tumble dry low: high heat turns it into steam—very theatrical, not recommended
No ironing: wrinkles are hydration ripples
Non-chlorine bleach only (regular bleach scares the houseplants)
No dry cleaning unless your cleaner offers emotional support for succulents
Meet your new favorite conversation magnet: a kindly-yet-terrifying garden matriarch yelling “YOU’RE THIRSTY” at a cactus while unleashing Niagara Falls from a watering can. It’s part motivational poster, part desert intervention, all chaotic good. Perfect for any friend who says “I’m fine” and then drinks one thimble of water per week. Put it on and become the hydration hero you were always destined to be. Side effects may include spontaneous laughter, improved posture in succulents, and strangers confessing their water intake.
Why this tee quenches:
Shoulder tape sturdy enough to hold back a tidal wave of granny determination
Seamless tubular knit—smooth like a perfectly poured glass of water at 3 a.m.
Ribbed collar that bounces back faster than a cactus after a pep talk
Soft, durable cotton that prints every droplet and dramatic vowel
Classic fit: roomy for brunch, flexible for emergency sprinkler choreography
Field guide (laundry edition):
Machine wash cold (30°C/90°F): keeps the splash art crisp and the cactus calm
Tumble dry low: high heat turns it into steam—very theatrical, not recommended
No ironing: wrinkles are hydration ripples
Non-chlorine bleach only (regular bleach scares the houseplants)
No dry cleaning unless your cleaner offers emotional support for succulents
