*USA shipping* unisex tee - For saving the galaxy, star wars streaming marathons, cozy date nights
$33.00
Cover me Porkins! Claim your destiny in large golden letters. This Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee feels like a hug from a kindly asteroid and looks like you just graduated top of your class at the Academy of Bold Fonts. Wear it to casual meet-ups, grocery dogfights, or while making unnecessary barrel rolls into the weekend. Ideal for people who enjoy gleefully dramatic typography and snack-based heroism.
Perfect as a birthday gift, reunion ice-breaker, or “I’m the main character of my own space opera (but also hungry)” declaration. Slip it on, inhale confidence, exhale oinks of triumph.
Product features
Shoulder tape: keeps the neckline flying true—even in turbulent snack lines.
Seamless tubular body for a sleek silhouette and fewer seams than a vacuum of space.
Elastic ribbed collar that holds formation after countless missions and washes.
Premium cotton: soft, sturdy, and prepped for high-visibility prints and higher-visibility antics.
Ethically sourced materials, because even cosmic rogues have morals.
Care instructions
Machine wash cold (30°C/90°F) — treat it like a delicate star chart.
Tumble dry low: gentle re-entry only.
Non-chlorine bleach if needed; avoid the spicy stuff.
Cool iron if you must (never on the print unless you enjoy molten typography).
Do not dry clean; mysterious solvents are for spaceports, not shirts.
Strap in. Snack up.PORKINSout.
Cover me Porkins! Claim your destiny in large golden letters. This Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee feels like a hug from a kindly asteroid and looks like you just graduated top of your class at the Academy of Bold Fonts. Wear it to casual meet-ups, grocery dogfights, or while making unnecessary barrel rolls into the weekend. Ideal for people who enjoy gleefully dramatic typography and snack-based heroism.
Perfect as a birthday gift, reunion ice-breaker, or “I’m the main character of my own space opera (but also hungry)” declaration. Slip it on, inhale confidence, exhale oinks of triumph.
Product features
Shoulder tape: keeps the neckline flying true—even in turbulent snack lines.
Seamless tubular body for a sleek silhouette and fewer seams than a vacuum of space.
Elastic ribbed collar that holds formation after countless missions and washes.
Premium cotton: soft, sturdy, and prepped for high-visibility prints and higher-visibility antics.
Ethically sourced materials, because even cosmic rogues have morals.
Care instructions
Machine wash cold (30°C/90°F) — treat it like a delicate star chart.
Tumble dry low: gentle re-entry only.
Non-chlorine bleach if needed; avoid the spicy stuff.
Cool iron if you must (never on the print unless you enjoy molten typography).
Do not dry clean; mysterious solvents are for spaceports, not shirts.
